We were only together for the kid, right?

That's what he told me today. That he only stayed with me for the sake of our son.

Andrew works in Tucson but we live closer to Phoenix. Rather than drive 1.5 hours, he has been living in a studio out there. I thought that was rather "considerate" of me.

The contract was for 1 month. NO big deal but has been extended. I lost my spring break and have noone here to take care of these kids but me. It really sucks. Additionally, because he has a gambling habit, I get no money. Really, In the past 3 months, I've gotten 400 bucks. Wow...(sarcasm).

While it is true we have not had any sexual relations in quite awhile, this is because of several reasons:

1. Metformin and no desire
2. Religious - he's trying to get baptized
3. Never together

So, today, he decided he was going to Tucson himself to get his key made. Why himself? That is the curious part....

The past few weeks he was talking about going to a bar...
Today he decided he needed to go himself to Tucson.
Something was definitely up.

So, I said to him: Do you think this job is more important than your family?
He said, "Yes. And I never considered this a family."
So I slapped him in the face and his glasses came off and they were already in frames that were not the right ones so the lens popped out and he lost it.

He then began to tell me that we were only together for the sake of our son.
He said, "Right." Like, he believed I agreed.

So, then, I said, "Why tell me you love me on the phone when it isn't true."

So, I guess he was "pretending" to love me. Foiled again. Why am I always the last to know.

After I wept for a long time, I said, "Well, thanks for letting me know when he was 3, instead of waiting until he was 15. At least that gives me a chance to find someone else who may care about me."



Of course, that will never happen. Sure, someone may be infatuated with me or even love me, but something will always stand in the way of happiness. I don't even believe love is real anymore. It's just a chemical thing. Inside I know it must be real, but having not experienced it, well...